Kahntentment

Newton Choral Society and Zamir Chorale are coming together for a collaborative concert this Sunday at Sanders Theater in Cambridge. It is going to be a fabulous concert - 120 voices, and the works of Bernstein, Thompson and others.

The event listing on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/s.php?init=q&q=newton%20choral%20society&ref=ts&sid=4bdb31826d8620fb2afb8527b41ed74e#/ical/event.php?eid=67158930655


Newton Choral Society's web site
http://www.newtonchoral.org

Tickets are almost sold out, so now is the time to decide.

Things you've already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven't done and don't want to - leave in plain font

1. Started your own blog -

2. Slept under the stars. -

3. Played in a band -

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower - .

6. Given more than you can afford to charity -

7. Been to Disneyland/world -

8. Climbed a mountain - .

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo  -

11. Bungee jumped - .

12. Visited Paris - .

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. -

15. Adopted a child.

16. Had food poisoning.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty -.

18. Grown your own vegetables.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train.

21. Had a pillow fight.

22. Hitch hiked.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. -

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb.

26. Gone skinny dipping.

27. Run a Marathon-

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.

31. Hit a home run -

32. Been on a cruise -

33. Seen Niagra Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - .

35. Seen an Amish community -

36. Taught yourself a new language.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. -

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing. -

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke -

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant.

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.

46. Been transported in an ambulance.

47. Had your portrait painted.

48. Gone deep sea fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - .

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater. -

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching.

63. Gotten flowers for no reason -

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma -

65. Gone sky diving -

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - .

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London

77. Broken a bone -

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car.

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper.

85. Read the entire Bible.

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.

88. Had chickenpox.

89. Saved someone’s life.

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous.

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one.

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone.

99. Been stung by a bee -

"This is our moment. This is our time — to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

-Barack Obama, November 4, 2008


Yes, we can, America. Yes, we can.

I am proud to be an American. I feel like I've woken up from an eight year long nightmare.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse*. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

01. What is essential for your happiness?
my children and husband.

02. What clothes are you wearing at the moment?
jeans and a sweater.

03. What games did you recently finish?
Nothing recently.

04. What is your favorite scent?
Fresh baked bread

05. What books are you reading at the moment?
The Book of Lost Things, by John Connonly

06. What do you drink the most?
Water, from the fridge.

07. Do you trust easily?
Unfortunately.

08. Who was your first big crush?
Matt Zaglin, going into the 7th grade. We actually ended up going out.

09. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to teach music.

10. Do you have a good body-image?
I used to.

11. Do you have a LJ crush?
She knows who she is.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
mommaville, fark, wikipedia, salon, slate

13. random pet peeve?
inconsiderate people

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
humorous, clever, interesting.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
the boom-de-yadda campfire song that the discovery channel used. see my last lj post.

16. What's your favorite item of clothing?
my new Calvin Klein suit. It makes me feel like a grownup.

17. What's better: to give or to receive?
Depends on what is being given or received. ;)

18. What turns you on in your preferred gender(s)?
Compassion. Brown eyes. A wide smile. Intelligence. Patience. The ability to remain cool and calm in an emergency. A natural athletic build.

19. Is there anything you want so bad right now?
a new job. help!

20. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping <-----yeah that

21. Whats the meaning behind your LJ username/name/nicknames you go by?
It was my IRC name from the 90s. Ben introduced me to IRC and the real online world...not the aol/geocities online world. It's a combination of xkahn and miranda, from The Tempest, not Sex and the City.

I tag: </a></b></a>batyatoon </a></b></a>ladymondegreen </a></b></a>doeeyedbunny </a></b></a>secretlyironic </b></a>angelrenaissanc</a> </span></a></b></a>purpleallison </a></b></a>miriyami and </a></b></b></a>gethen

sorry guys.

I love the whole world :)

Charlie is a great kid. He's happy, athletic (if clumsy), enthusiastic, and generally polite. We've been working with him pretty intensively on understanding the feelings of others, both in general, and when he's about to do something that would affect someone else. For him, it's second nature to share his toys with his brother, give his brother a hug when he's crying, tackle him or say silly things to make him laugh. But he has trouble recognizing feelings by facial expression, especially in adults or from kids his age and older.

The other day, some asshole stole my wallet and attempted to use my Amex. They got caught, and hopefully arrested, and no real damage was done to me or my credit. Basically, I'm out a wallet and had to cancel a bunch of accounts and replace all my cards and my driver's license. Thank goodness my social security card wasn't in there.

I had no idea Charlie knew this was going on. This morning, as I was getting out of the shower, Charlie came in to the bathroom, as always. As I'm drying off and getting on my towel, he says, "Mommy, you can have my wallet because you lost yours." He then hands his wallet to me, the very same one that came with his ultra cool backpack.

I melted into a little puddle, and then accepted his gift.

I am now carrying a black nylon Transformers wallet. Charlie has made me feel like I'm the coolest kid on the block.

Thanks to batyatoon for the fab meme.

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names &/or objects, but nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same first initial. You can't use your name for the boy/girl name question. Have fun with it!

1. FOUR LETTER WORD: Acme
2. BOY NAME: Arthur
3. GIRL NAME: Amira
4. OCCUPATION: Architect
5. A COLOR: Amarillo
6. SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Army Boots (heh)
7. BEVERAGE: Apple juice
8. FOOD: Apples
9. SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Art on the wall
10. A PLACE: America
11. REASON FOR BEING LATE: Alien invasion
12. SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: Arrrrgh!

"Mommy, this tastes like God in a pan."

This is the best compliment I have ever gotten on my cooking. EVER.

I admit I haven't been as active in posting about Josh as I had about Charlie when he was a baby. But today is Joshie's first birthday, and it has been so special. I guess I've been in denial - the time has been passing so quickly...he just hasn't been a little baby long enough. His babyhood has been so much easier in so many ways, and in so many ways, so much harder. Josh is a social and fearless little creature. He's friendly and loud. He's athletic. He's a handful...he gets everywhere. He loves intensity - the tang of lemon, the bubbles in Pellegrino, the shock of cold from ice cream (he had his first today!), the rush of sliding down the slide at the playground. He loves to snuggle. And he's an awful sleeper.

In so many ways, he's Charlie's polar opposite. They say you're not supposed to compare your children, but I can't help but compare the boys every moment and marvel at their differences. Both boys are a joy and a lot of work. Josh is so sunny in his disposition, but his mood can turn on a dime. Charlie is Mr. Consistent - he's either switched on to a good mood or a bad mood, and there's no turning back for him.

Anyway, Josh had a wonderful birthday. It was warm and sunny. Ben worked from home today, took Josh to the park this morning, before lunch and nap. I left work early today to get Charlie at school, and picked Josh up along the way. His favorite place to be is wherever Charlie is, especially if that place is the preschool. We then played in the backyard, blew bubbles and watered the garden. Ben joined us and we headed to Celebrity for pizza, fried seafood, french fries, and creamsicle ice cream.

Josh LOVES ice cream. He kept signing for more after each bite, and giggling after the shock of cold wore off. We headed to the playground next door, where Charlie slid down the fire pole by himself. Josh crawled his way around the climbing equipment, heading for the tallest slide, and sliding down, giggling the whole way. By the end of our time there, both boys were exhausted, both barely holding it together for the ride home.

Speaking of the ride home, we turned around Joshie's car seat. Seeing the world from the forward facing perspective suits him. He's happier in the car, by a long shot. Where he used to fuss and cry, he now smiles and looks out the window. He doesn't yet understand that he can see us in the rear view mirror, though I bet that will come soon.

We had birthday cake on Curious George plates, left over from Charlie's birthday party. Josh was unthrilled about the cake, though he was fascinated by the candle. I feel guilty that I haven't planned a big party for Josh, but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it. We're going to have a barbecue around Memorial Day, so that will just have to do.

And now for the run down. Joshie, at 12 months:

crawls, pulls up, and cruises
says "mama, dada, yellow, ball, bubble, bottle, cookie, boob" (though he doesn't say this one anymore)
signs "more, all done, out"
takes off his own socks
helps you take off his shirt
hinders you from getting him dressed
throws a nerf football forward
throws a small plastic ball backwards, and have it hit his target
plays catch
plays with his new interactive giraffe ball toy (can you tell this kid likes ball games?)
walks with a push toy
blows bubbles through the Gymboree bubble blower
plays the kazoo
climbs the stairs (ugh)
tortures the kitty, though she tolerates it for some reason
swims. he's a natural swimmer.
sits through a couple of board books (this is new)
bathes in the big bathtub (this is very cute)
holds his own when Charlie tackles him
steals toys from his cousin Tammy (3 months younger) and then give them back when she complains
sleeps through the night (although he doesn't)
uses a binky to put himself back to sleep (this is new)
eats pizza, ice cream, and chocolate cake
eats broccoli, cucumbers, tomatoes, and cooked carrots
eats bananas, quartered grapes, halved blueberries, watermelon slices (he loves this), cantaloupe, apple slices, peaches...if it's fruit, he'll eat it
despises peas. with a passion.
refuses to eat anything we offer him on a spoon, unless it's miso soup, yogurt, or applesauce
eats California rolls (this is also adorable)

His first year has been such a joy and an adventure, and it went by far too quickly. A bit bumpy in the beginning, with nursing problems (nothing Reglan couldn't fix), ear infections and even pneumonia this winter, but we came out of it ok. He was a fabulous nurser, once we got started. He is a sweet and happy baby, and has been the best addition to our family I could have ever imagined.

I am so thankful for my Joshie. Happy birthday little one.

Nothing like the stomach flu to bring you back to earth. Things seemed just too good lately. Then Ben got this evil evil evil evil (I'd add more but you get the point) stomach flu. As quickly as it arrived it left. Within 24 hours he was fine, as if nothing happened. Then we had a week of calm.

Then Josh got it. The next day, I got it. 24 hours of keeping nothing down or in. Ice chips wouldn't stay put. The fever didn't set in until hour 18 or so, and the aches brought on by sleeplessness set in about then as well. At hour 24, it was gone, but for the fear of eating anything more adventurous than toast. We all seem to be well at the moment.

Thus far, Charlie has avoided it, thank goodness. Perhaps it's because when Ben, Josh, and I got the evil stomach flu, the well parent got Charlie the hell out of the house while the other parent was sick. It spared him sickness, and spared the sick parent the barrage of 4 year old questions.

Poor kid. He was so worried.

My favorite 4 year old question: "Is Mommy going to be sick forever?"

We had another weekend where the world converged in on us. Maybe it's the new living room furniture and the available guest room.

Friday my cousins came to visit after the younger one had an audition for the BU Orchestra. I'm so proud of him. They swung by for an hour or so, and then hit the highway back to NY.

Saturday the in-laws visited. We hiked Hemlock Gorge with them, and then hit Wild Willy's for the best burgers ever. Annie Oakley anyone? Charlie was so exhausted from getting over his cold that he fell asleep before getting through the drive there, and slept through the meal, sitting up. He then went straight to bed at home. Josh was Mr. Charming all through dinner, and his appetite is without limits, it seems. Josh also has two new teeth, and is reveling in that. And before you all judge, I had the fish. Which was delicious.

Yesterday was Superbowl...two couples, four kids and a Chris. Gotta love the new couches...there was enough seating for everyone! And there was enough room to put out all the food, which was copious, of course. No one drank the beer. Still, an excellent time was had by all. Go Giants!

Have you ever had one of those months where you don't see anyone, and then suddenly on one weekend your whole social world descends on you? That was this weekend. Actually, that was our last 24 hours:

Saturday night: Party at Olivia's (whom I haven't seen in, I shit you not, 10 years)
This afternoon: Sushi with Dobey and his new girlfriend Lydia. Did I mention Dobey moved to Virginia a year ago?!
Tonight: Pizza and playdate with .mtgordon & Sonia & the adorable Isaac. Joshie and Isaac got along famously.

Next week: Pizza and playdate with .mtgordon & Sonia & the adorable Isaac, at their house this time.

This doesn't even count the phone calls.

This is unusual...we're...we're....popular. If only for tonight

cookie

that's it. I'm getting this kid his own cooking show.

The venerable batyatoon posted an articulate and beautifully considered piece on the Chanukah vs. Christmas problem. The issue has been floating about in my mind for a while, as I've been dealing with this very issue at close range, now that Charlie is 4, and is now gaining a real understanding of the makings of our mixed family.

I've posted a response to her, and am including it inline, as I don't really know how to go about using a livejournal cut tag:

Well said, Batya. Christmas is so pervasive, that it's in my family too, for, as you know, my in-laws are not Jewish. And even they, with the best intentions, wish us a Happy Chanukah long after it's over. And it's with their best intentions, that they completely and lovingly include us and our children in their Christmas celebration.

I'm at peace with it, just as I'm at peace with the fact that the Happy Sukkot and Happy Shavuot are often missed. They don't mean harm or ignorance, and in fact, I need to give them more credit than I do. They try to remember the weird holidays that we have, despite how many of them there are and how they move around the calendar.

So what does it mean to us? It means that I have to make an extra effort to explain the meaning of the holidays - BOTH holidays - to my children. It also means that I do my best to make Charlie understand why it is that we are Jewish and why, although we may appreciate and help others celebrate Christian holidays, Christian holidays are not for us. It helps that he goes to a Jewish day school, but he won't forever.

It means that I make a point to take the menorahs down when Chanukah is over, even if that also means that our home is the dark one amidst a sea of lit houses.

But it doesn't mean that we have to exclude ourselves from the joy of others, especially with those who, more than anything in the world, want to share it with us. It means that I am grateful when my mother-in-law refrains from using the Chanukah wrapping paper under her Christmas tree. It means that although I am separate from Christmas, I can acknowledge it in peace and appreciate its beauty.

Charlie may ask for Christmas lights, but the lesson of taking down the Chanukah lamp when it's time is the sweet one. Maybe our battle against assimilation has been won if he understands that Christmas is the other, even if my mother in law celebrates Christmas and invites us and our children to the celebration. It's a beautiful thing, after all, to remember how good it is for all of us to dwell together in peace.

And filling Christmas stockings for them is darn good fun. This year we got them LED flashlight keychains in the shapes of animals. With sound effects.

Maybe one year they'll come to our seder.

"boob"

well, we know what he likes...

I find myself blogging less and less lately, mainly because of lack of time. Joshua isn't as good of a sleeper as Charlie was. So what can I say?

Charlie was in his first school play today, which was almost a disaster on our part, but wasn't. We were late. We forgot the bagels, which I signed up to bring (oh shit!). We took two cars so Charlie could get to school on time and I went off with the grouchy baby who did NOT want to go in the car to Rosenfeld's bagels.

Well crap. They were closed. They're closed Mondays. At that point we were so late, I decided to say fuck the bagels and get to the school Rosh Hashana celebration. I got there panting and crying; it took us 20 minutes of screaming baby bumper to bumper traffic to get to the school empty handed. It turned out no one minded. They forgave the bagels, and it turned out the 8:30 performance time (I got there at 9) was just a dress rehearsal. We didn't miss anything. The children were in the moadon, or all purpose room, dancing to music and shaking egg shakers with all the other parents. I went around back through the classrooms to calm down, to calm the baby, now fine since he wasn't in the car. Ben met me in the classroom and calmed me down; I was still reeling from the screaming baby bumper to bumper traffic no cell phone no bagels experience.

Charlie had a ball.

He was a branch on the Rosh Hashana apple tree. He even memorized his lines! And he was very very proud, up until the moment that one of the kids took his prop. I hugged him and explained to him that it was ok...that the other kid could be a branch too. The other kid was crying until that moment. And I felt like crying too..I mean, really I was SO mad at that kid. Charlie learned a lesson about sharing and he was ok, and felt better. But in my heart I wish I could have wrenched his prop out of the other kid's hand.

Still, wow. His first school play. And he was, of course, the best kid in it.

I nursed the baby (now 15 lbs, 2 ozs) in the classroom while the children had snack, kissed Charlie good bye, which he didn't notice, and had a relatively peaceful ride home.

Joshua is sleeping in the pack and play now, a rare and peaceful nap. He was up most of the night with a sore throat, waking whenever his Tylenol ran out. He's teething on top of it all. The most surprising bit of all this tumult is that he's been in really good spirits, considering. I'd like to say nursing is going well, and compared to how it went with Charlie, it really is. On the other hand, we're still depending on formula a couple of times each day. It's a slippery slope - a couple of ounces here, a couple of ounces there - and it makes me feel inadequate and frustrated. My hope, as always, is to continue to nurse him until he's at least 6 months old. If we can make it to a year, even better. But I just don't know. We'll take it one feed at a time, and consider it a success if he's not screaming after.

and he weighs (wait for it..........................)


8 lbs 1 oz!

He's going to be a football player.

So last night little one was up from 3:30-6:30, being generally awake and happy, fussy only when we put him down. He's darn cute, but in the middle of the night, it's not so convenient for him to be awake. He was up for much of the day today, allowing me to put him down for about an hour this afternoon. He's down now. I hope this means he'll sleep for much of the night, allowing me to sleep again.

Breastfeeding is hard. Despite the fact that it's MUCH easier this time around, I get glimpses of what it was like trying to get Charlie to the breast, which was never really successful. Joshie doesn't have reflux or colic, which is a major relief, but between worrying about making enough milk and having a baby on you all the time, there's no time to replenish or relax. Little one's favorite place in the whole world is at the breast. He can be on there, eating or just nuzzling and playing, for hours. Typical guy, I guess. He's becoming more and more reluctant to take a bottle from me, which is becoming a problem. I'm just not 100% there in terms of a milk supply. We're getting there, but it's a struggle. So he'll latch on and go for 3-4 letdown cycles over the course of an hour or so.

This is fine during the middle of the day when Charlie is at school, but at the end of the day, when my supply is at its lowest, and Charlie needs attention, it's damn near impossible. When we do nurse during the period between 4-6pm, if we go for more than, say, 20 minutes, Charlie goes ballistic. He climbs on me, so I end up sheltering the baby. This, of course, makes Charlie clamor for attention all the more. The cycle is vicious, and by the end of an afternoon, I am completely spent.

I'm starting to resent Ben's being at work, getting to eat and pee when he needs to. Getting to shower every day. Getting to talk to adults who aren't the exterminator or the contractor who is doing the roof. I'm starting to see my dreams come out in the daylight, falling asleep in the Queen Anne chair whilst nursing the baby. Watching too much television because I can't concentrate enough to read during the day. This is definitely the sleep deprivation getting to me.

So far, postpartum depression hasn't made an appearance, despite my fears. So far, it's been a combination of bliss and exhausted crabbiness. Throw in one child crying setting off the other, precisely at 4:30pm, with a mommy who is generally at her wit's end with the older one (who has decided to save all his sassy obnoxious behavior for mom...for this I'm thankful.), you have a recipe for disaster...and you have a typical weekday. I feel guilty about how much television Charlie watches these days, but frankly, I don't see another way around rainy days. I don't see how moms of multiple children do it all day every day. If it weren't for preschool I doubt we would have had a second child at all.

Still, Josh is the cutest baby ever. He's big on giving me these big goofy grins when he's nursing, and often after. When I use the changing table setup we have on my dresser to change his diaper, Josh likes to look in the mirror and stick out his tongue. I don't know if he's so aware of what he's doing, but he seems to get a kick out of it. He gets fussy if, while nursing, the flow slows down before he's ready, or if it's too fast. And he poops like 8 times a day. I swear. This is different. Charlie used to have "poop days," as in one poop every 4 days or so. We go through more diapers than I can really handle.

At 3 1/2, Charlie is endlessly asking "why" questions. He wants to understand what it means to be "just kidding." His sense of humor is developing, but frankly, he's fairly clueless about what it means to tell a joke. And he REALLY wants to know how to do it. He just doesn't understand the difference between kidding around and being maliciously obnoxious, and I have no idea how to help him make that distinction. He's starting to figure out how to initiate contact with other kids, but it hasn't hit him yet that he needs to look at them when he initiates conversation. I wonder if he picked that up here, considering that Ben and I often have conversations on opposite ends of the house.

Charlie so desperately wants the attention of other adults and other children, and I don't want to get in the way of that. I feel like he's always getting himself in trouble around here, doing it on purpose to get attention. He's making mischief where he knows he shouldn't. Generally this is a kid with a massive superego, so seeing him get into cabinets and running into parking lots when he knows he shouldn't be is a cause for alarm. I fear he may be losing confidence in himself and I don't know how to instill self confidence in him, as I grew up lacking it. How do I do this? How do I continue to discipline him, and continue to give him the attention he needs, when he has a new baby brother? Do we just plow through it? I wish I had the answer.

I wish I had the answers to a lot of things. How do I maintain the energy to get through each day, especially the rainy ones? If it weren't for afternoon playdates and very patient girlfriends, I have no idea how I'd get through the week. I know my life is easy. And I know I signed up for this. But when the day is rainy and cold and the 3 year old isn't listening to a blessed word I'm saying, and the baby is starving at 3:30 because he refused to eat (in favor of a nap on momma's lap) before we had to go pick up said three year old at school, this is when I'd consider that the day is just damn hard. I hope tomorrow's easier, and we all get to sleep tonight.

Welcome Joshua Aaron Kahn!

Born uneventfully and peacefully at 2:20pm on Saturday, May 5. 6 lbs, 4 ozs, 20 inches. He's alert, happy, and a great nurser. We're overwhelmed and tired, and extremely joyful.

I swear I'm going to be pregnant forever. Over it I am.

Last night I was feeling...weird. Back labor, contractions every few minutes, preggo brain to the max. I was losing stuff, forgetting stuff, feeling woozy and dizzy. Finally I called the doctor who said to go in to the hospital to get checked out. I called Kerry, my on-call friend. She came out to stay with Charlie. We called my in-laws who high-tailed it up here from Connecticut.

I wasn't in labor. The cause was my blood pressure, which, over a course of hours had spiked to 170/110. This is not an exaggeration. I heard the doctor talking to the nurses who were talking to each other...they moved me to a room near the surgical suite, convinced that they would have to induce labor/perform a C section. They used words like "hyper-reactive," "pre-eclampsia," and "magnesium sulfate," and the nurse came in and drew lots and lots and lots of blood. She also put a saline block into the vein in my left hand.

For those of you who don't know, a saline block is like an IV, but with no long tube/bag attached. Rather it has a tiny tiny tube of saline to keep the line open, just in case they need to medicate me for whatever reason. And for those of you who have never had one put in, it fucking hurts! It hurts more than contractions that are 2 minutes apart. In my case, with the blood pressure being so high, and my veins being so small, (this is gross) the vein that the catheter was in kept spasming. Ow. Fucking ow.

And the worst part is that they didn't need to use it AT ALL. Why oh why would you put a catheter in someone's vein if you don't know if you're going to use it? Here's the lesson for when I actually go into labor and have the inevitable BP spike: if and when the time comes to push meds into me, fine. Stick me with needles. But before that becomes a necessity, DO NOT STICK ME. IT HURTS. AND IT'S NOT NECESSARY.

Aaaaanyway...

They had me lie on my side for a few hours while they monitored the baby and my contractions. We waited for my blood work to come back. I was finally able to give them a decent urine sample, much to the nurse's satisfaction. Just as mysteriously as it rose, my BP dropped back to normal over the course of a few hours. The contractions stopped. My blood work came back clean. Urine sample was also clean. They had no reason to keep me on the ward.

They sent me home. We sent the in-laws home. They joked that this was just a dry-run, and they were happy to come up in the middle of the night. I personally believe that NO ONE is happy to drive 5 hours in the middle of the night without a new baby being the result, but I'm a crankpot right now.

My doctor now wants to see me twice a week, rather than once a week. I'm not on bed rest, amazingly.

There are so many things for which I am grateful.

I am grateful that we have a network of good friends and close family. Though we knew my parents wouldn't be able to make it if we had the baby today, we knew we had their love and support. The flood of calls from my mom and sisters, all telling their false alarm stories, was incredibly comforting. The fact that Sandi and Jim dropped everything to be with us and watch Charlie falls under a whole different category. Kerry has been my rock, dropping everything (including her own two small children) to watch my child until my in-laws get here. Even from far away, the daily check up calls from Roger and Lisa are heard and appreciated.

I am grateful for my husband who is now extra-vigilant and supportive when I start to go nuts.

I am grateful to have a doctor who is willing to check on the baby as often as I want her to.

More than anything, I am grateful that the baby is healthy. His heart rate is good, and though he's squished in there, he's still moving around pretty well, if a bit less frequently than before. (Kicking in the ribs, head butting the bladder...)

There are far worse things in the world than having a false labor alarm and spending an uncomfortable night in the antenatal ward. I may bitch, I may crab, I may whine, but I know how very blessed I am.